That's something which old people would advice young children to do back during those days. I for myself have always wanted to learn to be better person. It's an on going process which i hope i wont stop doing it. Reminds me of learning to be a better lover.
I'm the youngest child in my family. Both my parents are the type that always come home for dinner together , at home every night , and care for all their children. There are pros and cons being the youngest , we should all learn how to take advantage o our situation.
Being the youngest, I learned to see other people's mistake, particularly people older than me. But on the other hand, its hard for me to realise my own bad stuffs. And I i have the most influence from my family.
I'm driving a small car which my dad likes it alot. One of the tires got punctured by a nail few days ago. we changed it to the spare tire and i brought it to the workshop. Today, my dad asked me ,
Him : " Did u change back the original tire with the spare tire ? "
Me : " No. "
Him : " Why didn't u change back ? U should know that u have to change back. "
......silence for awhile cause he was angry......few seconds later....
Me : " Why should i change back ? Whats wrong with the spare tire ? "
Him : " U still ask ? U should know. "
....few seconds later.......
Him : " Some spare tires are different." ...angry
At that time i was angry , but i cant do anything cause i depend on him to live now. I know if i argue with him things will get worst. I dunno much about tires. I thought all the tires are the same. U shouldn't expect me to know things that i try for the first time. It was at night already, and i know i have to go take a look all the way down at the car park as I'm staying in a condominium. I take a look but i find that all the tires are the same, there's no difference. Then He called my phone, asked me about it and then asked me to come back up and do it tomorrow.
Through out the process, i was very angry. Feels like i have to obey him, whether right or wrong. Angry for him being inconsiderate. Its already at night , its the first time i do it and he left me alone to do it. Finally called me to go back up. I didn't bother him when i step into the house. It seems that he knows he was wrong, but couldn't control himself to do the right thing that time. But inside me, i know its cause he cares for me alot, just that not doing it the right ways in this kind of issue.
After that, I sit down , and think of myself. I had fights with my partner before, and the situation seems similar to this thing i had with my dad. Only the difference is, i play my dad's role in the quarrel with my partner. My partner was tired after working for a long time. She's often busy with her work. As for me, i always wanted to spend time with her. When she didn't manage to spend time with me, i would feel bad. I know i shouldn't take much of her time, but i just feel bad not able to talk to her for one day. When she go to some place to visit for few days, i would feel uneasy, cause i cant talk to her for few days. I would feel bad, i know i should let her go around to have fun, but i feel bad. So i end up having a fight with her many times. What is wrong with me ?
When it happens. She would feel bad and thinks that my demand on her is too much. As for me, I know I'm wrong, but at the same time i couldn't help to feel bad when i cant chat with her. I gave her stress, and she got angry with me, she didn't talk to me for awhile and didn't listen to anything i say.
Now when i look back, that's exactly what i wanted to do to my dad today after the tire issue. Only difference is i have no choice cause he's my dad and i depends on him to survive now, so i have to obey. But I'm treating my partner like this, i love her alot, but i didn't love her properly on this issue. When she's tired or travelling, I got worried about her, so i would call her many times to chat with her. I always end up talking long with her. As for her, she was busy with her work or travelling with friends, so she wont answer the phone or reply messages.
It is clear what my mistake is. When we love someone, let them spread their wings and fly. I've seen some people that have pet birds, in a bird cage. I always feel sorry for the bird, it has wings to fly, but got trapped in the cage.
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I should let her spread their wings and fly happily.
My partner need to work and travel around for fun. My mistake was i always wanted to talk to her and know what she did everyday. This makes her feel like the bird in the cage, no freedom. At first i thought its ok for me to know how she is and what she did today. But she's busy and have many work to do. As a result, she didn't manage to speak much to me and i feel bad about it. We end up fighting and she talk even less with me. Turns out that she wanted to talk to me after long time no talk. But when she see me unhappy after long time no talk to her, we quarrel before she start telling me about her busy days or her travel experience.
There are many things in life we all need to learn. I won't stop learning everything and will continue to be a better person and lover. I learned to take care of my partner, let her spread her wings and fly. When she's tired of flying, she'll come right back for some rest and love. Come to think of it, My study have been bad lately, but i still wanted to spend time with her. Its clear that i shouldn't be like this. I should have spent more time on my studies, and talk to her on the correct time. She was doing right, while i reduced my time on other things for her which is wrong to do it now that everyone is young and studying. There's no wrong or right, but i wanted to be able to give my partner more freedom to spread her wings and fly. Not like the birds i saw that got trapped in the cage.
Spread your wings and fly my beloved.
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