Love

Love... Its something that everyone fights for in life.

Everyone wants to be loved, cared, feels so nice to be loved. Especially when the person who we love, loves us too. It is a weird feeling, it has sad, sorrow, anger, happiness, hope, enjoyment,... all the feelings u can think of. Put them all together and u get love.

When we love someone, we would think of him/her alot. No matter what u do, where u are, how are u, there's always a part of ur mind thinking bout the one. We never get bored or tired of that. And wished that the person feel the same way too.

I was just like this, my love life was tough.

Back in high school, I was a fat and timid boy who has few friends. When i speak to girls, i would look down , wont dare to look at their eyes. There was this girl, who i loved since primary school, went to the same highschool as me. When she pass by, i would feel so nervous, when i pass by, i would try to look at her , but wouldn't dare to let her know i'm looking at her. It was an weird situation.

I never told her my feelings, i was too shy to do it. Later on, she got a bf, left me spending my days with jealous and sadness. Years passed and i still love her although we hardly speak.
I tried so hard to control my feelings toward her so that i can get on with my life and stop thinking bout her. When i finally manage to do that, over four years have passed. I thought that teen age love aren't suppose to last so long, i thought everyone was still young, wont be able to love or care for someone that much. Well... anything is possible....

I became a cold hearted person, who ignores feelings. I believed that no love will last forever and love doesnt matter cause it will die anyway. It was a sad thing for me to believe that time, which is just a cocoon to protect myself from sadness when i think of that girl i loved so much.

It took some time, to realise that what i did was just to stop myself loving her. I lied to my own feelings that i love her that time. Untill now, i still care for her , even though there's no chance we can be together. She never knew about how much a cared for her, and how i felt. It was a sad ending for me, I wish that next time, i can get a good ending.
No matter how, she will always remain in my heart.