time went by.
i got hurt.
whose fault is it ?
everyone ?
most ppl said its not my fault.
but still ....
i am still wrong on some parts.
i will learn those little wrong parts of mine
improvements are the most important after all.
its gonna be hard to find someone that i love so much.
but i will try my best.
if i cant find it ,
i'll need to make a crucial decision.
might give up and focus on something else in life,
maybe i'll take PHD and dedicate my life in research to improve everyone's life in this world
for now,
pain is part of me . . . . .
it has been part of me for a long time .
hopefully time can make me feel better ,
from my experience .........
its gonna take a long long time .
i will survive ,
and i wanna get 10 times better after going through this period
i hope i will be able to love someone that much again
even more if its possible
but . . . . . . .
with very limited possibility
one thing i dont like ,
is that i roughly know what's gonna happen to me.
one thing i hate even more ,
i only get something i want ,
when i think that i doesn't matter whether i have it or not .
i am always hungry ,
hungry for improvements ,
hungry to be better ,
and it drives ppl away ,
cause it makes ppl stressful.
anyway ,
just another thing i need to learn.
hope i will turn out good.
